Question:
I have a 2 1/2 year old son and I am taking care of him full time. Right now the father just takes him every other weekend.he makes likes $14K a month and he pays for our rent and $200 food every 2 weeks. maybe he spent $1500 a month and every other weeks taking my son to spend time with him. Right now he didn't gave us $200 and he said that he will talk to his attorney. Is this because he wants to spend time with him more and he wants to cut our support?he complains about the teeth of my son since he drinks a lot of milk and is there a way that judge can give him the custody because of me feeding my son milk or anything bad that he thinks i don't take care of my son? Will this be the cause that he will win the custody? We are not married too and i took care of my son all his life and now that he is big he wants him..I don't have a job and I am a full time mom and he makes more a lot more. What are my rights? Do i have to hire a attorney too?Pls.help/
Answers:
Definitely get legal help. Money isn't everything.
yes. when one father/mother.want custody.and the parents cant agree..it always goes to court.
you should get an attourney. custody battles are a bad thing to go through. you should check with your citys' healthy and human services about state aid. you can get a public defender they you do not have to pay. write down all your questions that you may have about the care of your son and any other questions you may have.
First you should get a job to show you can support your child without being dependent on someone to take care of not only your child but yourself. This will look better for you when you go to court. Maybe he is tired of supporting you both.. I think that if the childs teeth are rotten and arent being cared for this would be a reason he could win custody. But if you are doing what needs to be done and he is getting proper dental care then there isnt really anything he can do about that. I really dont know your whole situation so its hard to say. Good luck!
ok you might not listen to me because Im only 13 but I helped my aunt get her 2 kids back and if it wasent for me she wouldent have them back but you should get a attourney and get a job because he has a 99 precent chance of getting custody if you dont have a job(you might be the 1% lucky person but I dont think so if you dont have a good paying job)
First of all he is not going to get the child based on his HIGH income. He has to be proven to be a fit father and you have to be proven to be an unfit mother. I dont know what is wrong with the little boy's teeth. If anything milk should make them strong not bad. Unless it is bottle rot. If he has nothing else against you other than the child's teeth I woulndt worry too much about it. However if he is getting an attorney I would look it getting an attorney also if you cant afford the court will probably give you a public defender to represent you. If it goes to court.
I am a father of a 16 year old son.. He (your son's father) really does not have any rights right now.. you could stop him from seeing his son if you wanted to.. then he would have to petition the courts for visitation.. If he takes you to court you will go to mediation first.. believe me they do not want to take a child away from his mother. They would only do it if he could prove that you were abusing him or dangerous to your child. Later down the road.. say when your son is 14.. he would have a much easier time if you son wanted to live with him.. Dont get a lawyer unless you get a supiona. You already have custody.. why would you file first? And you should call the courts and get child support from him.. that will establish visitation and you wont need a lawyer for that. If you want help send me an email.. I personally believe that a child is better off with thier mother, but my sons mom was and is very unstable, on welfare and mentally handicapped. Btw.. child support in California (when i was paying it is roughly based on 21% of the other parents income)
Get a lawyer, quick. You should file suit before he does. Best of luck!
Let me tell you, it's complicated, and even more so since you weren't married. I guess the child's father's name is on the birth certificate. You both have an obligation to care for the child, both physically and financially, though you don't have the ability to contribute financially and if you did go to work or school than there would be child care expenses. Get an attorney and also call social services or the health department or your local community college to see if there are any programs for single mothers so you can get some training so you can be self-sufficient. Feeding milk is not a bad thing. Make sure you brush his teeth when he gets up and before bed. He should not be walking around with a sippy cup all day long. He can have milk with meals and snacks. Give him water, too.
hey if i offend you i'm sorry but, when i was just a few months old my parents split up, my mom had to get two jobs so that she could pay for the rent, food and well yea. I spent every other weekend with my dad too. I felt sad that my parents broke up because I just spent a little bit of time with my dad, I really wanted to get to no him more but it's just how my parents decided to raise me. Of course it was much worse since I didn't really have a father around when I needed him the most I got made fun of at school but hey. It was even worse because one day in school I got a call saying that my dad passed away. I would of felt better if I actually had him around more. That's why I'm making sure that I give a better childhood to my three kids up to this day.
Ok lets' think about your son, the real victim here. I say victim because I smell a long drawn out custody battle coming your way...
If you currently are in court fighting about custody then YES you should have a lawyer representing you and your son.
Is the support already court ordered? Then he is in default if he is refusing to pay .
Contact your local probate office of the social service department. Second he makes $14,000 a month and is only paying maybe 1500.. Honey, the law states 17% of his gross salary for one child which would come to $2380.00 this is what he should be paying.
He will have to take you to court to prove you are an unfit mother to get his son ( if you already have custody of the child).
Proving a parent is unfit will take more then bad teeth due to milk!
By the way if he makes $14,000.00 a month he must have Medical too. Make sure you get your son on his policy.
Advise: get they to Social Service and a Lawyer. If you can't afford a lawyer they will appoint one.
Good luck
There are women's groups that can help you. Google it.
I don't know the details of the relationship you have with this man. I don't know how you speak to each other and what not.
If you are taking the kid to the dentist regularly and following the doc's advice then the teeth issue isn't an issue. If you have been negligent with doctor visits he will likely point this out to a judge.
If he has not been ordered to pay child support set that in motion- but I would urge you to get a job. An income of your own is a requirement- if the judge sees that you have no way to support that child at all he'll throw him to the dad at least temporarily.
you cannot expect a man you are not with to pay for things not associated with the child and I hope you are not on welfare because if you are then stop reading now you won't listen anyway.
I suggest to talk to him and work it out. He has every single god given right to want things a certain way for his son just the same as you do- 100 percent. Sit and talk with him and work out a better visitation schedule and agree to what you both want him eating and drinking. BUT he MUST open that damn wallet!! If he wants to be a part of the kid's life then he has to stop playing you and give you more money for the child. If your rent is 1000 and he pays 400 in grocery then he pays 1400 a month. This is not enough with a 1000 rent. You plug in your numbers. Tell him that he would be paying far more if you listed your expenses to an arbitrator or judge.
You really should get court ordered child support
Bottom line- if you take him to the doc, don't worry
Get a job.
He must pay more.
Get a lawyer if you can afford it, but if not look for a womans center or a place like it. Just google it.
I do not believe he will get full custody in any event.
Good luck!
ok heres the deal. you really need to get a job. this makes you look like a reponsible parent. relying on him to pay all your bills will only lead to trouble.no judge ever took a kid because of bottle rot. are you taking care of your child? providing all the things he needs? if so, then you shouldnt have much to worry about.
check into food stamps, public aid ect...i live in illinois so i dont know how youe state works but we have hud and housing assistance for low income families. they will also help with an attorney so you can get child support through the state they will take it out of his check.they will also set up visitation rights.
buckle down and get your situation strait, it will only make you look better in court. he knows he has the upper hand if he pays al your bills he has something to hold over your head.
It is hard for a mother to lose custody, TRUST ME. (Court doesn't like men) The only way a mother would loose her children(s) is if the mother was on drugs, abusive boyfriend, or unable to support the child. my cousin is having trouble getting full custody of his son, and the mother is a drug addict! so know that court favors the women, and i suggest you look for a job =[
(Even if your son want to be with the father, he isn't old enough to decide, i didn't get to decide where i wanted to live until 12 years old.)
Hi,
Go here...tell them just what you told here.
Let them handle it..
He will have to dig a little deeper in his pocket..
Good Luck
http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/cse/inde...
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